kriss was kissed

2009-01-29T12:58:00.003+08:00

i'm gonna fly off in, 10 hours time. and i haven't pack finish!!!! my luggage can't close so i'm giving up for awhile.

i think i'm gonna have a panic attack. the reality of leaving singapore for 6 months is sinking in and what the hell was i thinking!?!?!?! i have never been away, alone before. and i have never survived a day without friends and family close by.

i feel so, NOT READY for this.

but that doesn't mean i'm not exciting. cos i am. i think it's just the, pre-departure anxieties. haha.

2009-01-21T17:09:00.002+08:00

i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing. i need to start packing.

instead of just sitting in front of my computer.

dedicated the whole of my wednesday just for packing in the hopes that i can finally pack finish today. whole of wednesday isn't exactly accurate cos i woke up at 4.15pm. HAHAHA. and it's already 5.15 and i have not packed yet!!!!! i am such a procrastinator. i have been saying i want to pack since, maybe the 1st week of jan and it's already the 3rd week and i STILL have ot got anything done.

but i'm depressed. i lost money at poker yesterday. DEPRESSED DEPRESSED DEPRESSED DEPRESSED DEPRESSED DEPRESSED DEPRESSED. i cannot get anything done today cos i'm so sad. i want my money back!!!!!!!!!

okays la, objectively speaking it's not so bad cos it's only the 2nd time i lost since november but still....... i have been spending shitloads. i want my money.

i need to pack. i need help. no one has given me any advice for my packing and i really need someone to "monitor" me cos i am super NOT indepedent. i need to pack, cos i have been and am gonna be super busy from now till i leave and if i still wanna meet any of my friends before i leave, i better get the packing done if not i won't be able to leave the house man.

okays, pack. right. now.

2009-01-16T03:30:00.002+08:00

i'm on some sort of a bad luck streak these days. went down twice to collect my jeans from the stupid alteration place at far east and they are still not ready for collection! first time i went down it was cos the lady fell like super sick and there's apparently no one else to do the alteration. like wtf? then i went down again today and like the alteration sucks so i wanted the lady to redo it. and she told me like i'm being too picky. damn you i'm a paying customers if i don't get what i want for why the hell should i pay money for it. so like i have to go down a third time to collect them and i have a really bad feeling about it. piss me off la i have to pay like 3 bucks parking fee each time i go down it's like freaking wasting my time and money.

and song ericsson sucks. i sent my hp for repair on the 4 of jan and the person told me it'll take 5 working days to be done. so i went down on 10 of jan to collect them, which is exactly 5 working days later. and the damn girl at the counter told me it's not ready for collection. fuck la if you can't deliver at least give a call right, waste my time going down. so she told me she'll "expedite" my order which doesn't even makes sense cos it's already over the time frame they gave me and it's the only right thing to do now. and like she said it'll be ready on 12 jan and she'll give me a call. and hello, it's already the freaking 16 of jan and i still got no calls. and the hot line is always and forever busy and no one answers the fucking phone. so what? i'm supposed to go down again without news hoping it's ready? and what if it's not? then i waste my time and money going down again. i don't even have a choice cos they don't answer my calls, don't call me back and have no email which i can enquire. damn you stupid sony i'm never ever gonna buy any of your phones anymore.

even poker is driving my nuts. today is the second time i went down for a game only to find out that there's no game cos there wasn't enough people. and wow, they ended the game just when i reached. irritating like hell and now i can't sleep and there's nothing else to do.

lastly, the stupid ASOS spree that i joined 1 month ago is still not in singapore yet. apparently the stupid shipment got lost or like some problem at customs or whatever unlucky reason. i don't mind waiting, just that i don't really have the time to wait do i?

oh! and i bought an external hard drive which may hopefully only arrive over the weekends. so i don't know when i will get it, and even after i get it i still need the time to transfer all the stuff over from everywhere.

i only have 2 weeks in singapore left and i'm so freaking unprepared. i need my phone, my jeans and my stupid spree items dammit. i hate having stuff all over the place. i want to settle everything but apparently i can't no matter how hard i try. such a long ranting entry. i'm gonna pack my luggage tomorrow cos i haven't even started. damn. no time no time. i have plans over the weekend so like i don't even have the time to pack my luggage proper. when i don't have plans i feel so sad, but when i have them i get frustrated cos i don't have time to pack my stuff. such a paradoxical situation.

2008-12-30T04:40:00.002+08:00

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
.
.
i just realised 1 month is damn fast. i only have a month more here. i want to do everything! eat supper everynight, play as much poker as i can (i'm contridicting myself right now cos i decided not to play tonight that's why i'm here writting this post), go club like whenever i can, meet everyone. OLIVIA AND XINZHI!!! i thought you girls said you will meet me more often cos i'm leaving soon then why haven't the 3 of us been out yet! stop being so busy in hall! i should stop sleeping till 4pm every day and spend more time awake. i sleep soooo much, like from 5am to 4pm. and i only wake up because of phone calls.
.
.
i'll treasure my last month left. not waste a single day.

2008-12-21T15:34:00.004+08:00

i'm spending quality time at home... just that no one's home right now. really need to pack my room instead of sitting in front of the computer... which i have been doing for the last 2 hours.
.
.

the most horrible wednesday night ever. i went down despite flu and a slight fever and felt super sick after drinking only a little. little like, a bottle of hoegaarden and probably about 7 shots. yea, i know. would have been a good night cos xuan was treating everyone drinks, only i wasn't well enough to drink. anyways it was a total waste of my time going down at some ungodly hour of 8.45 just to get into phuture and i ended up staying in winebar only. sitting around with the poker people (most of them i don't even know), some are like 30 plus. i quote michelle, "it's like clubbing with your parents". by 12.30 i was pratically dying and luckily the ever so nice cs guys came to pick me up. hahaha

the only pictures of the night. i know i don't look it, but i was seriously feeling damn shitty. shitty enough to go back by 1am. it was like the night was doom to fail. first olibolly couldn't make it cos of some shitty thing. then michelle felt dizzy and left for home early. oh wells, that makes 2 person feeling like crap that night.

2008-12-13T04:36:00.003+08:00

i'm loving the holidays so far. i'm always so busy doing one thing or another that i never have time to feel bored. i love the fact that every time i wake up, i have impromptu plans to meet with someone, or go to some place. but then sometimes i feel like i don't have enough time to spare. sometimes i just want to stay at home and pack up all the stuff i brought back from hall, or just have a good rest at home cos i'm really starting to feel super drained. i'm always meeting someone everyday, yet i still feel like i don't have time for alot of my friends, and especially my mum. friends like martin, who's always asking us to meet but we never seem free. or yanxia, we stay right in the same block but don't even have the time to go to each other's house. or lingling and xiuxiu, we haven't gone out in a long time! or michelle, whom i have probably met less then 5 times since she's been back.

i have been doing so many things, yet i feel that there's still so much that i haven't done. i have not even done half of the things i said i wanted to do after exams ended. like, losing weight, or getting a job. neither have i read that book i wanted to, nor have i finish watching gossip girl. plus christmas is coming and i have only bought present for one person on my list. and i still have 2 birthday presents which i have not really started looking for proper. i have been to town/vivo a little too much. too much that i'm quite tired of going to town to walk, yet too little cos then, WHY HAVEN'T I BOUGHT PRESENTS FOR EVERYONE BY NOW?

so many things i want to do, so little time for everything. there's always stuff you have to give up, you always have choose something over another. sometimes i worry i choose the wrong things. like not spending more time with my mum, or neglecting some friends over others.

oh wells, 1 and a half months left. let's make the best out of it. (why do i sound like i'm going away forever) it's weird cos i kinda can't wait to go over, yet i'm enjoying myself too much to want it to end. SEE WHAT I MEAN?? you can't have everything. hahaha

2008-12-10T15:56:00.006+08:00

pictues from yesterday! stupid e-mail is taking so long to upload the files it's making me irritated. uploading photos here to past time waiting.

wow this is stupid, uploaded the photos finish and the e-mail is STILL uploading. irritating. spent less then 30 mintues doing the write up, and spending 1 hour trying to upload the photos and write up to the e-mail. can the internet waste any more time for me??

2008-12-10T01:51:00.000+08:00

I WANT A GOJANE SPREE!! DAMN ANGRY WHY DONT HAVE

2008-12-10T00:11:00.002+08:00

i had such a great time shopping today! (including yesterday too) damn happy. olivia and i should never shop together, cos we make each other buy everything. but it's okay, since we were both feeling rich (or rather, just felt like spending money) today. i kept telling myself not to buy so many stuff, cos i won't be able to wear them in 2 month's time, but i failed miserably. haha. i vow to wear all my clothes before i leave, even if that means i have to layer 3 layers or more. HAHA. so i here's what i got today,

1. red scarf - forever21
2. rings x3 - forever21
3. black pseudo-biker jacket - far east
4. black vast - far east
5. white with black printed graphics top - far east
6. mustard fringe sandals - far east
7. christmas present for my mommy!

i know far east is such a... lian lian place, but haven't been there for ages! so gotta grab everything. haha and i finally broke out of my "comfort zone" and bought my first ever pair of sandals. mustard colour to boot, not even the conventional black. HAHA. yesterday while shopping with my mommy i got myself,

8. dress x2 - forever21
9. black high waisted skirt - forever21

and when i got home, i looked at sprees and bought,

10. burgundy ankle-cut booties -ASOS
11. black waisted buckle belt - ASOS

and my cousin is coming back from the states with stuff for me!!! can't wait to see them. i am so HAPPPPPYYYYYY. haven't felt this fulfilled in a long time. but there's still some stuff i wanna buy such as

1. grey skinny jeans
2. boots x2 (one flat, one with heels)
3. big bag for school

yes, these are the last 3 things i am gonna buy in singapore. i'm gonna save every other cent for shopping in the uk. i mean, rather buy stuff from H&M right?? haha. i won't buy the bag if i don't see anything i like, but i'm definitely getting a pair of skinnies before i leave. i don't have wearable jeans.

maybe i'll post photos tmr. am super tired now.

2008-11-28T04:26:00.005+08:00

end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams end of exams

okay this is actually 2 days pass my exams but i have been making the best out of my time these 2 days! am freaking tired now. been sleeping at 7am the past 2 days and today isn't any better. but it's happiness! hahaha

now that exams are over, i want to

1. lose weight
2. meet everyone, everyday!
3. work? i need a job, seriously
4. play poker
5. go club
6. plan for parties! =))
7. read book 4 of the twilight series
8. watch gossip girl
.
.

the life after exams is back =))

******************************

as difficult as it is to accept, sometimes you got to admit to youself that other people see you better then how you can ever see yourself. no one is perfect and i know i'm not right all the time. too many a times have i done implusive and stupid acts or overreact to small issues. yet i still believe i wasn't wrong when i said you don't know your limits. it isn't easy to hear the bad stuff, and it sucks when the people you care about (or at least used to) don't trust you. but if no one's going to tell you, how else will you realise it? maybe i don't have a right to say so because i didn't hear it from you first hand and i don't really know what's going on in your life anymore. i'm not judging you but i just have this to say. there comes a time when you just have to wake up and really think about what you are doing. why take the fun out of something you enjoy, turning it into something you have to do or die? i'm just saying this because i care, and as distant as we are, i don't want to see things turn bad. it doesn't matter that it's within your means, it's the complusion that makes everything wrong.

2008-11-22T01:15:00.004+08:00

wanted to blog about a long post about how jaded i am with some people but then i realise everytime i blog, it's about unhappy stuff and i always seem to complain non-stop. so i decided not to blog about it anymore.

sometimes, i just can't wait to get away. i really can't be bothered about any of you.

2008-11-18T15:18:00.002+08:00

kristle: so he's a white angmoh?

yanxia: yeah

(after a pause)

yanxia: you mean there's such a thing as black angmoh??

studying is boring, that's why we have lame conversations in our room that doesn't even make sense. =(

2008-11-01T05:57:00.005+08:00

"Don't worry. You're human - your memory is no more then a sieve.

Time heals all wounds for your kind."

- New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer

How true that is.

And I mean it both ways.

2008-10-13T19:52:00.004+08:00

met hoeann at parkway today after i collected my house phone from the repair shop. so we went sakae for lunch/dinner and saw some one who looks like alvin chin! seriously. here are the pictures to prove it.

side view. he's even skinny like alvin.
he even has alvin's strawberry head shape man. HAHAHA
okays, this picture is damn in-his-face. i think he (or his friends) probably knew i was taking his photo. same hair style too. i know this photo is kinda small cos i was using my hp camera and there wasn't zoom. but anyways, this photo is the best of all. when hoeann and i saw his action when we were paying the bill, we just burst out laughing on the spot. if you can enlarge the photo, notice that he has the alvin hands-in-pocket pose, exactly like his jc days! the resemblance is exactly the same. how funnnnnny

somewhere these photos reminds me of my jc days, especially during first 3 months. haha how nostalgic.

2008-10-10T20:57:00.002+08:00

i never seem to have an affinity with USA, other then the fact that i was born there. in primary 4 my dad was supposed to go there for work and he wanted me to go with him to study there. That was year 1998, the stupid financial crisis year. so in the end his company decided not to send him there. then in sec 3 my dad went to work in the US and again, i was supposed to join him after my o levels and not go to the lame jcs in singapore. even before my i took my o levels, some dramatic thing happened in his company so he came back to singapore. once again, my hopes were dashed. then after JC, i made a damn idiotic choice of staying to study in a singapore university. not that staying in a singapore university has proven to be a bad move or anything. i made the decision, i live with it.

so now, when i wanna go for exchange for just one freaking semester = 5 months only, shit HAS to happen to me again. i can't believe i am so FUCKING unlucky. it's probably even rarer then hitting the jackpot or winning toto.

life is damn unfair.

so to cut the long story short, i am not going for exchange in the US anymore. i may not even be able to go ANYWHERE. and it's not even my fault. when and if i get a new university to go to, i will give the dramatic story of my whole overseas exchange process. no one would believe how fucking dramatic it is. and even after so much drama, i may still end up stuck in singapore the next sem.

if things really happen for a reason, this reason better be a fucking good one.

i have never been a religious person, but i have always felt damn protected and guided in my life. like everything that has happened always end up in a good way. like what shelia and zhi said, i sort of live a life without any major setbacks or disappointment. nowadays, i don't feel that way much. i hope this is just a temporary bad phase that ends up well. PLEASE. GOD.

2008-10-08T22:31:00.002+08:00

i know my mood swimgs are damn fast but suddenly i feel like i'm quite pleased with my life now. i mean, why not? so many things to be hopeful about -

1. i didn't screw up like how i worried i might. okays, so i'm only halfway done but it's almost there
2. little things make me hopeful that there IS something out there, even thou these little things aren't right for me now doesn't mean other little things in the future won't be
3. i have a fully planned weekend ahead =]
4. i have friends and family who love me!
5. gossiping about a common enemy with an unexpected person is damn fun!

okays, i know number 5 isn't something to be hopeful about but at least it contributed to my happy moment. HAHAHAHAHA

love. laugh. live <3

2008-10-07T00:03:00.002+08:00

there are times in life where you feel that you're just going thru the motion. the routine of waking up, going to school, eating, sleeping, whatever it is that we do for the sake of doing. sure, there are times when you truly are enjoying yourself. but mostly, it just seems like we're waiting for time to pass, without an ultimate aim. i'm tired of just passing time. i want something to be truly happy about. something that spurs you on in life.

i think i have lost my drive in life. mostly i find myself lost as to what i'm looking forward to.

2008-09-27T19:12:00.003+08:00

i know i leave everything until the last minute because i work better under pressure, but this is ridiculous. it's already evening on freaking saturday and i'm still at zero words and counting for my like, 2000 words essay due on monday. believe it or not, this is only my second essay since the start of the term so maybe that's why i just can't get started cos i have lost touch with writing essays. hahaha. i don't wanna write! =[

i'm gonna go shower before i start on it. procrastinating is what i'm good at!

2008-09-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

so glad that the holidays are finally here. this week has been a freaking crazy week. got through 3 midterms, 1 presentation and 1 assignment. plus i couldn't sleep for 2 of the days this week making me super duper tired. shouldn't waste my first day of the holiday away. gonna make plans for right now!

OH! and i finally made a decision. i'm going to UMD! it was a long complicated story but i have already accepted UMD so i guess there's no need to recount the whole freaking story again. contrary to what i said about washington, i am pretty excited about going to UMD!

2008-09-13T15:36:00.003+08:00

overseas exchange here i come! now, i just need to make a decision.

University of Maryland in College Park, Washington DC

OR

Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York

Which should i choose???? i know UMD is a good comm school but then that's just for the journalism department and i am definitely NOT taking journ. and RPI is such a technological (not much unlike NTU =/) school but their comms faculty seems to have alot more courses than UMD. but i kinda d0n't like the "polytechnic institute" part of the name. hahaha. how superficial. then again, Washington DC has a homicide rate of like 80 murders per 100,000 people, which doesn't really seem like that many. but the average US homicide rate is only 2.3 murders per 100,000 people! the difference is super drastic zomg.

decisions decisions...

2008-09-03T03:21:00.004+08:00

i know this post is damn fast considering i just got back at 2am but i must post this to show how much i love martintanguozhong! HAPPY BIG TWO ZERO!

first, i must really say how sorry i am for forgetting to wish you on your birthday. i know i am so horrible and i deserve to be hanged and shot. no excuses really, i'm sorry! heh but being the very nice person that you are, i know you can't stay mad at me for long! =]

remember mugging for geography and history together on the freaking PHONE?? hahaha. 7 years of friendship and you have always been there for me. i know all these while you have always been the one making the effort to contact us and i'm sorry if we have neglected you. i know words ain't enough and it can't make up for anything, but you should know that i treasure you a lot and no matter how long we have not met or talked, you'll always be important to me. despite my disappearing acts and unanswered calls, you have an important place in my heart. when we practically watched each other grow up and seen all the stupid things that we did, have gone thru and have gotten over, you know ain't nothing gonna replace that. and yes, i do miss you.

the usual suspects:

a very hungry me, surviving till 9.45pm on an apple, a small packet of twisties and 2 biscuits for the whole day.

birthday boy martin!
the girl who was late, olio
missing: chrissypoo, who is in his own landoflove =/

after treating martin to a not so extravagant dinner, we decided to be budget and buy ice-cream from 7-11 and chillax at the coffee shop. haha. yay to 2 for $2 green tea and 2 for $3.90 ice-cream. =p

martin and i spending alot of time looking for the perfect ice-cream.

quite a corny picture, but it's the only one with the 3 of us in it.

lava love

2008-09-01T17:26:00.002+08:00

They can take tomorrow and the plans we made

They can take the music that we'll never play

All the broken dreams

Take everything

Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

They can take the future that we'll never know

They can take the places that we said we would go

All the broken dreams

Take everything

Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

I thought our days would last forever

'Cause in my mind, we had so much time

But i was so wrong

Now i can, believe that

I can still find the strength in the moments we made

I'm looking back on yesterday

2008-08-22T01:52:00.003+08:00

it doesn't help that my com207 reading is on sigmund freud.

for those who don't know who the hell sigmund freud is, he's the guy who came up with the theory of psychoanalysis, claiming that the unconscious mind have a larger influence on our behaviour then we may know. and what is stored in our unconscious mind is sometimes reflected in our dreams due to repression of our thoughts. that's all i know so far, bcos i'm only 1/4 way thru the readings.

anyway, among other things, his theory of dreams hit so close to home that it's scary. i know it meant something, but i never wanted to think about it. i don't need him to tell me what my dreams mean. i have an inkling, but i don't want to brood on it. they are, in a way, better then before. but now i have more things to dream about, which cannot be a better thing. too many things i'm pushing to the back of my mind. maybe i think, or more acurately, not think, too much.

and i quote from my readings, "dreams represent the fulfillment of wishes"

psychoanalysis. hmmm...

2008-08-21T21:16:00.004+08:00

i shall blog tonight bcos it's such a lazy thursday night and there's nothing much to do. thursday nights are the worst for me bcos yanxia wont be around anymore and everyone knows how dependent i am on people. =/

so today was school election day, not that i particularly have any interest in it. but we had fun taking pictures with the elections sticker. heh.

EH! vote for Edwin and Hendric! hahaha not that we did (or did not; it's a secret)

school crasher jing ying

stripes! not on purpose thou. haha. sheila is a giant!
with our pretty QQ =]
another one in stripes, subtly. haas

hmmm... wanted to blog about last saturday's hall pageant bash at velvet and then hopping over to dblo after that, but guess i'm still too lazy. =/

2008-08-17T22:41:00.002+08:00

am i delusional or do i know you better then the things you say? how much longer can i stay so sure of myself? hmmm. things to ponder on.

long post tmr, with loads of pictures. too lazy to do it now.

2008-08-11T18:43:00.002+08:00

i always get shit. damn it.

2008-08-11T09:12:00.002+08:00

it's freaking 9.15am and i still can't sleep. stupid freaking teh ping. it has been over an hour plus since i got home and i bet i'm the only one still awake at this ungodly hour, maybe other then hoeann who booked in at 7.30am. argh, i'm pissed. wanted to wake up early tmr (or more acurately, today) cos it's the day before i have to go back to school and i wanna like, enjoy whatever time i have left before school. but seems like it's not gonna happen. i wanna sleep. now.

argh

2008-08-10T18:20:00.002+08:00

of all days possible, i had to leave my camera in hall this weekend.

think it has been a month since i last stepped into zouk, and it's alot emptier than i remembered it to be. and the guys have become uglier. HAHA. or maybe it's just the friday crowd.

so yesterday's birthday celebration at dblo wasn't exactly like a celebration since the birthday boy wasn't with us like, 95% of the time. many things happened last night. for example, i got jabbed in the eye by alvinchin, oliberry's heels broke (zomg, the worst thing ever), we had some HTHT/GTGT in the freaking club(!?), hoeann pangseh-ed us AGAIN when he was the one who msged us not to pangseh.

my stupid manicure which i did only 4 days ago is chipping off at the sides. irritating!

2008-08-05T01:34:00.002+08:00

okays this sounds a bit stupid but i'm feeling damn depressed about going back to school. i feel kinda lost, and very caged up. i can almost cry.

2008-08-02T15:00:00.005+08:00

durains at four seasons on a random day. 4 people sharing 4 durains, too gelat already. haha.

this is the durain which cost 40 bucks. known as the "cat mountain king" (mao shan wang), or better known to us as the "cat tiger paw". hahaha. best thing is, we paid 40 bucks for the durian and ended up eating maybe 2 small piece each only. all bcos we ate the cheapo 3 D24 durains first and ended up being too full to eat the expensive durain. haha.

dblo yesterday. i think dblo is my new favorite club, if i don't want to dance that is. haha whenever i'm at dblo, we just can't seem to stay on the dance floor for longer than 15mins. it's just drink drink drink and lots of photos. but still, dblo was fun. <3
xuan took this and claimed that it is ugly. ugly meh???
alvin being caressed by another guy
jager bomb

alan looks damn happy here! haha

xuan handsome la! gonna get a girlfriend in ntu soon. HAHA

2008-07-24T16:32:00.004+08:00

school's starting in 1 and a half weeks time and i'm really not looking forward to it. 3 months of holiday is still not enough for me. yea, i had a unproductive holiday but it was fun. hanging out till like 5am in the morning before heading home to sleep and wake up at 3pm is the way to go. it is ZEE lifestyle. haha.

pictures from MY camera coming up. heh

because i have such lovely friends who are such sweet people, i now own my own camera! =) okays, i know i have not thank most of you yet, but i'm going to do so really soon. here's a shoutout first to all of you who chipped in to my camera fund. THANKS to -

olibolly
xinzhi
faccy
charlene
martin
hoey
alvinlee
alvinchin
michelle
mas
jerio
joseph
gene
paul
lindy
abby
zep
jacko

i hope i got all the names right, i know there's supposed to be 18 people. I LOVE YA ALLLLLL! XOXO

anyways, my camera's a fujifilm finepiz J10. <3

supper with cinead and her cute 4 month old red poodle. obviously i'm more interested in the pup than her cos there are no pictures of her! hahaha. =]

olibolly and me in the magic school bus that cost 1 buck. lasted for, mabe only 1 minute.

2008-07-15T01:53:00.004+08:00

maybe i made a stupid mistake. i'm sorry for not putting more thoughts into my words. i have always been emotional, and when it happened, i guess i just couldn't control myself. i'm sorry for giving up so easily over a trivial matter, ending something which was so important to us. i know i hurt you, and i'm sorry.

life is full decisions. sometimes you make good decisions, bad decisions, decisions you regret, lucky decisions, stupid decisions. whatever kind of decision you make, eventually you have to move on with the choices that you make, whether you like it or not. that's what i'm doing, that's what i'm trying to do. some people are lucky enough to get a chance to amend their decision. some don't.

you know i will always care a bit more for you, pay a little more attention to you, be willing to do a little more for you. i can't say about the future, but right now that's the way it is. i'm okay with things being this way. but i want us to be better friends then just "poker friends". i still need you, just in a different way. i want you to be a part of my life still. somethings take time and i know i'm rushing it? i'm just scared if i distant too much from you, you'll slip away from my life. i want to be able to laugh and joke with you, have long chats with you, hang out together, be comfortable with you, say whatever that's on my mind to you. it doesn't meaning i'm clinging on to the past, i just don't want to lose someone close. i hope you understand this, and don't take it the wrong way that i'm trying to make things back to how they were like before.

i want you to know that it's okay to think of me and call me when you have an angry moment, have something that you're bursting to say, a joke to laugh at, a confused moment. bcos then i'll still be a part of your life, and i won't take it the wrong way too. you are my bestfriend, and despite everything, that is something i don't want changed. i hope you feel the same.

i don't know if you'll read this, but i really really hope you do.

i guess all of our "i love you"s were just not enough to survive.

twenty nine

first

2008-07-12T04:57:00.002+08:00

it's so ironic that it took me to lose something to learn how to trust.

2008-07-05T17:08:00.002+08:00

you are my words unspoken.

everything i wanted to say, everything i feel, is there.

i'm just slightly luckier i guess.

when you read those words, do you think of me too?

2008-07-01T19:01:00.004+08:00

after last night, i totally know what would be a perfect birthday present. it is.....

.

A BACK CRACK!

serious shit. i have never ever cracked my back before in like 20 years of my life and i'm seriously in need of one. everyone says it's damn shiok and what not, but i have never experienced it! zomg. i want one. someone please crack my back for me!

gah. my big 20 is coming up really soon but i'm not really looking forward to it. i have stopped looking forward to my birthday since, idk, last year? anyway i haven't even decided what to do and everything. i don't really like the idea of spending my birthday in a club. but then i realise, wth, i'm not even really bothered about my birthday, so why not? it's just another wednesday. heh.

2008-06-30T14:52:00.004+08:00

bcos of EURO 2008, this is what happened at work:

queue time- 6 mins, queue calls- 80

seriously wtf. this is the highest number of calls waiting that i have seen so far. who wants to wait 6 mintues for someone to answer the phone!? and the best thing is, they waited so long for their call to get answered and when it does, they get told the delivery time is 1 and a half hours. and then, they decide that 1 and a half hours is too long and end up not ordering. best. don't call better.

2008-06-29T16:02:00.010+08:00

my (unrealistic) birthday wish list:

1. a camera, any brand will do cos when you don't have one, cannot hiam
2. chanel/gucci shades, cos they are super sexy
3. my own car, i kinda like the fairlady. HAHAHA.
4. luck for every poker session
5. become magically thinner
6. my dark eye rings/eye bags to disappear
7. not to grow old!?

please let all these materialise in 4 days time! thanks in advance!

i don't play the cards in my hand well. i can't hide my hand. being too impatient, i don't stop and think, such that i throw it out too easily and i become so easy to read. i've learnt that you can't depend on luck all the time to get you thru. sometimes thats just isn't enough. without confidence, trust and a little risk, you fold winning hands. i know i lack that, but i realised i'm starting to change that now. we can't always have winning cards in our hand, so we need to learn how to play whatever we have. i've been playing for 2 years, but am i any better since the start? i hope i catch up soon enough.

edit/-
if you don't know what i'm talking about. it's okay. either 1) you don't know poker or 2) you don't know enough about me

2008-06-26T14:31:00.003+08:00

i don't care if you are joking or making fun of me bcos it is not funny. stop comparing me with her bcos she doesn't, will never, and can never measure up to me. yea yea her english is so fucking perfect but she's not the one getting As for everything right? now you made me sound like some snob and a show-off.

i know you had to put up with my mood swings these few days and i thank you for that. but i'm not in the mood to listen to the crap talk of "your english is so lousy, hers is far better then yours" bullshit.

2008-06-21T02:41:00.002+08:00

registered my subjects today. haha i was super gan jiong man. i thought da competition was gonna be super tight, but there are still a lot of mods that are available even after registration has ended. especially for my mods, so many leftover places i'm starting to wonder what's wrong with da mods i have chosen!?

so anyways, here's what i'm gonna take next sem. (well, more or less, unless i decide they are too tough and drop them during add/drop period)

COM206 Visual Literacy and Comm
COM207 Comm History and Theories
COM255 Organisational Comm
COM257 Media Effects

still have 1 more mod to add but it's still on the waiting list. i wonder when i will know if i'm gonna get it. haha. anyways, i planned my timetable quite nicely i must say. still a 4-day week for the third sem in a row. super shiok! i think i'm quite smart if i may say so myself. see, i planned my timetable according to the exam dates (must finish within 1 week, i hate studying when everyone else has finished their papers) AND the number of school days per week AND mods for my specialisation in year 3 AND still manage to get da mods i'm interested in. haha my cousin says who plans what sub to take based on exam dates?! well, i do. this time my free day's a monday instead of friday like the previous 2 sems thou. =(

for the first time, i'm gonna take 5 mods instead of the usual 6. i will be more free than ever! i hope. =]

2008-06-19T13:48:00.002+08:00

argh! i just found out that i need to register for my subjects tmr. zomg. lucky i found out now so i still have 1 day to plan what to take. nonetheless, i'm still quite flustered cos i don't really know what's happening. haha stupid right, 1 whole year in school and still so gong. plus i need to decide what courses to take for my major! wah scary. what if i make a wrong choice! haha

anyway olibolly just went home. zouk last night with her and mas was super fun. so it was 90% guys but at least they were wayyyy better looking than 2 weeks ago. HAHA. da music was good, but i think it was mainly because we were so happily high that made everything triple fun. hahaha. i really want to post pictures, but i have none. hello friends, send them to me please.

gonna go back to work tonight. =( damn sad.

i'm tired of waiting for something that's not coming. if you aren't bothered at all, why should i be?

2008-06-18T12:44:00.003+08:00

it's such a vicious cycle. i get impatient with my parents easily. then i see my father get impatient with his parents over small little things. why is it so easy to be rude and snappy to your parents despite how much you actually love them? is it because you know they will always be there for you, so you start to take them for granted? it's true that however evil you are to your parents, you know they will always love you. parents' love are like bottomless pits, no matter how much you throw at them, they take all the shit and yet love you the same. i truly believe a parent's love is the purest form- they love you for who you are, accept everything about you and forgive you no matter how big your mistake was. yet the older we get, the harder it is for us just to say a simple "i'm sorry". i hope that my parents know how sorry i am every time i hurt them unintentionally.

2008-06-17T12:27:00.002+08:00

the non-working life is the best. i've never been more contented just lying around at home and sleeping the time away. i'm tired. i need some well-deserved rest. seriously, i feel like quitting my job like, now. ohwells, better go enjoy what's left of my non-working week.

2008-06-16T04:00:00.002+08:00

the singing and dancing sheep really made my day. thanks for being my friend, even thou i always ill-treat you. you're my best male friend too.

2008-06-13T01:44:00.002+08:00

i love my friends! <3

thanks kimmeee for stopping work immediately and coming out straight to meet me after getting my sms. we'll always be there for each other yes? i know i can count on you every time, even thou we might no see each other like every week. hope we don't see weird ang moh guys near your house anymore. haha your house ain't safe at night! hahaha. i love you!

ahmad! the comm historian who i can always turn to for * problems. hahaha. first it was da stupid siren thingy, now it's this. thanks for being such a sweetie and accompanying me to you-know-where, getting da addresses for alternative places and calling your friend for help (better not say here, in case people whom i don't want to know what happen finds out what i'm talking about. haha)

yesterday was scary shit. okays, it was sorta minor as compared but i really didn't know what to do or where to go or whatever. i'm glad i have friends to help me out. i would really be at a lost if i had no one to turn to at that point of time at night, or if i had to go to such places alone. i'm glad i don't have to face it alone, call me not independent or whatever.

nights world. tmr is another story to be unwritten. hope it will be better than yesterday's at least.

2008-06-10T21:14:00.003+08:00

i got back to my hall and back to MY OWN room!!! screw all of you! hahahaha. too bad for you, yays for me. you guys don't know me well enough, i don't go down without a fight. i thrive on fights with stupid mindless people like you. who gives two flying fuck what you think of me?

2008-06-04T13:26:00.002+08:00

zomg. results are gonna be out at at midnight today! good thing i won't be at home sitting infront of my com trying to get into da results page cos it will surely hang. mambo first, truth tmr. hahaha.

feel like sleeping again now thou i woke up at 12. maybe i should. heh

2008-06-03T02:58:00.003+08:00

sometimes i think to myself, do i really know you?

no time to dwell on this now, i got to work tmr at 8am. i only have 3 hours of sleep! die

2008-05-30T16:16:00.002+08:00

funny quote, coming from a guy-

nip/tuck says:
he just uses me like a rag doll when hes nt hanging out with his girlfriend

and this goes out to you, thou i don't think you read my blog -

nip/tuck says:
you shouldnt make your firends your backup plan

2008-05-28T19:40:00.003+08:00

i'm in a damn horrible mood now. i'm hungry and i'm tired and i feel damn irritated by every single little thing. i hate being left alone at home, especially at night. in da first place i wasn't even supposed to be home, or alone, today. i don't see why we can't make dinner, unless dinner usually starts at 9pm? i hate people to "fly my areoplane". i'm referring generally, to anyone and in any event, not just for this situation.

i have all these angry, evil thoughts flowing thru my mind now but i'm not that irritated, pissed or stupid enough to type them out here cos i know how horrible i can be with words and despite me being in my i'm-angry-with-everything state, i know you don't really deserve my meanness. they say a girl's instinct is always right. i wonder how true that is for me cos i have too many too crazy thoughts of which i hope none are true. i hope i'm not being a fool.

2008-05-23T03:21:00.005+08:00

one of the day last week, alvin and i did something a little different other than the usual movie, shopping, eating out, watching dvd, slacking at home thing.

idk why i'm so tired but i just refuse to sleep. =(

2008-05-21T01:23:00.002+08:00

i wanted to post pictures but da cable is in my sister's room and she's already asleep. guess it'll have to wait for another day.

i have been bumming around for almost 1 month and it has been great! =) no, i'm not feeling bored yet. today i broke my personal waking up time record, at 4pm! tomorrow will be a challange for me, i gotta wake up at 11am cos me and oliviaaaa are gonna go meet xinzhi during her lunch break. and after that, i'm going for an "interview" for my potential job. so exciting i'm getting a job soon! i hope i don't have to start really soon thou. maybe after next week? idk. i need time to rest, i have been out almost every single day since school closed and i'm pretty tired. i need to just relac a litte bit more. plus, i feel i have not spent enough time with my friends yet.

2008-05-16T23:40:00.002+08:00

alvin the boyfriend is at his friend's birthday chalet so i'm at home having some me-time. was supposed to go mos with kim but i decided i was too tired. seriously, i woke up at 1pm you know which is early by my standards and alvin and i went to so many places today i'm mentally and physically drained. and anyways i haven't been spending time with myself lately! ever since alvin came back, i have been with him every single day i'm getting sick of him already. hahahaha. i know i'm such a sticky girlfriend i wanna be gardenia bread and kaya. =p

i'm hooked onto my psp playing yet another FF game. i love FF so damn much.

2008-05-03T17:00:00.006+08:00

zouk again yesterday. it's always just kim and i now. =]

Kenny!

i need a job. i'm going effing broke. but i'll wait until mid-may before i get a job cos i have my boyfriend to accompany first! heh. kim! go ask about da job okay, then we can work together! =]

i'm so free i keep blogging everyday, i'm on a roll babyyy.

2008-05-02T01:04:00.022+08:00

wedneday night we had a post exam celebratory dinner in hall. technically my exams ended more than a week ago, but for many of them, it only ended on that very wednesday. goodness, i cannot imagine having to study that extra week. must have been hell. so it dinner was quite fun, except that roomie couldn't come.

greedy guys all fighting for da salmon sashimi.

my 2 next door neighbours! i'm gonna miss you guys so much! =[

man-of-the-night JJ! he's da one who organised da dinner. (please ignore da table)

yummy dessert! it's called chocolate bomb or something. really cool, da inside is all melted so when you put a fork thru it, da chocolate comes oozing out. =]

hall twelvers

supper at simpang bedok with hoey

this is me when i was young. cute, no?

went to thompson with jack to meet abby on labour day. me and jack got totally lost cos jack claimed he knew da way there (which he didn't) and we spent like 1 hour driving around and around just to find da place. i was seriously getting more and more pissed by da minute cos we were practically driving in circles and going no where. haha i think jack got a shock, he was so scared we were gonna die cos i was driving recklessly. heh. so anyways, we concluded that i have road rage. i can get crazily angry and vulgar when driving and i become perfectly fine afterwards. weird huh. eh, sorry jacko for getting pissed. =]

so we went to eat some apparently very nice prata at da prata house, but i really didn't see what was so nice about it. it was so crunchy it wasn't even like prata. afterwards jack wanted to eat ice cream at this cool place called icekimo. nice little shop, located in some rundown building which cannot even be seen from da outside. da shop's all pink and girly. cute <3

idk why abby's face is so white here, probably cos of da flash. and jack looks like a stalker here.

OH! i finally found out how to get to yishun dam! before i could drive, i really couldn't be bothered about da way there cos i figured i wouldn't be able to get there without a vehicle anyway. i was perfectly contented just watching da scenery mindlessly. that day when sending jack back to seletar camp, i finally found out how to get there by myself! and it's like super direct from my house. haha cools.

p/s before anyone starts exclaiming about how fat i am gonna be due to all da supper i have to defend myself first! all i had for supper with hoey was just a glass of non-sugared starfruit juice. he ate, i didn't. haha and i only ate half a prata that night with abby and jack, can hardly count as fattening right? heh.

2008-05-01T03:41:00.000+08:00

i am not emo! i'm just troubled, alright?

2008-04-30T15:02:00.006+08:00

supper at hong kong cafe!

freaking idiot wanted me to drive back thru old tampines road at 4am by myself! so freaking scary! i rather get lost for hours before driving thru some supposedly haunted road. yea, supposedly, but still doesn't stop me from being a scaredy cat. =/

2008-04-26T14:33:00.012+08:00

Post Exams

Wednesday

celebratory mambo night with da cs peeps. no pics cos i haven't gotten them yet. (oh, i have decided to make my blog a tad more interesting by posting some pictures. if and when i have them) reached there and bumped into zephan at da entrance. been ages since we last hung out. it shouldn't be like that, what happened to da times when we were all so close? dang. oh, met mas and shuan at da coffee shop. lucky i met them too so we could share a cab together. damn ntu and everyone going back to hall. haha.

Thursday

finally went threading with roomie! i was starting to feel like a man. haha. she wanted to buy a present for her boyfriend so we went around town looking for a nice -. too bad da - she had her eyes on isn't in singapore yet. all i bought was a picnic-y dress.

Friday

larry's 21st birthday chalet. haha it was all rather awkward cos he only invited da 4 of us so we didn't know anyone else there. in da end only me and kimme went cos cinead mysteriously disappeared and jane didn't want to go. haha but it was all good anyways. so me and kimme left for zouk where we bought like super many drinks due to da midnight madness.

pictures!

after this 3 lousy photos, my hp promptly died. -.-

so anyways, we each had like, 8 apple shooters, 4 glass of screwdriver and 2 glass of midori . and then we met alton, who gave us more drinks. haha. met shitload of people there. but we mostly spent da night going back and forth from phuture and zouk bcos kenny couldn't get into phuture. tried to dance to trance but failed miserably. haha. i wanna learn how to shuffle! it's cooool.

Today

accompanied my sis to some tcm clinic where da doctor poked like, 8 needles or so into my sis. 3 of which was on da head, it was quite scary to look at really. haha. spent my day lazing around, using com and reading. it's da life i tell you. watching videos online and spending da other time searching for ideas for my -. my mum cooked ikea's swedish meat ball for dinner. yummers.

i miss you so damn much. i wonder if you know. it wasn't so bad when i was having my exams, cos i had to study anyway. now, no matter how much fun i have, i still think of you at da weirdest and most sudden moments and i feel so sad. haven't talked to you for 9 days, it's crazily long. i really cant wait for you to come back, at least back from outfield when i can talk to you. but that's still 5 more days away. =(

2008-03-29T14:29:00.001+08:00

someday i will be able to.

but not now. not today. not yet.

2008-03-24T01:14:00.002+08:00

ack! exams are in 3 weeks and this is what i spent the weekend doing

thursday - went home from hall at 8pm then went to play poker from 12am to 6am.
friday - sleep until 2pm, went for good friday service at 3pm, went to alvin's house then to linden's chalet.
saturday - came home from chalet at 1pm, slept until 3pm, go for movie at bugis, go funeral, go drink and finally, go play poker again until 5am
sunday - went for easter sunday service at 11am, came home sleep again until 5pm, woke up watch 3 episodes of Heros, go grandma hourse for dinner at 8pm then went back hall.

i had nightmares about studying this afternoon, probably from all da guilt over not doing any work this weekend. okay, it's settled, i'm not going out next weekend anymore until exams are over. yay, please support me by

1. stop calling me out for poker!
2. stop asking me out to club/drink
3. unwillingly reduce my dates with alvin. hahahaha.
4. calling me out to study, someone?

2008-03-17T01:39:00.004+08:00

i really hate to hear words like CBB, IDC, and DAM coming from you.

2008-03-13T01:30:00.002+08:00

random thoughts this week

1. this semester is filled with freaking many projects it is so irritating!
2. i SO regret not getting da car from hoeann because it has been raining non-stop and shutter buses take forever to reach.
3. i have many bestfriends this week and i love all of you! HAHAHAHA
4. i'm suddenly so used to this it's funny in a way.
5. egg sandwich tmr sheila jang?

2008-03-04T21:10:00.002+08:00

it's a myth that if you're busy/preoccupied, you can avoid thinking of certain issues that's bothering you. cos even thou i have 3 projects, 1 mid-term, 1 quiz and 1 assignment at hand, i cannot not think about certain things. i dream about it even. it's practically haunting me. i really do wish i can do myself a favour and stop bothering myself over it, but i just can't seem to control my mind. i don't want to but can't help it. i'm sorry, to myself and to you.

it feels like i've come to a stop and no matter how hard i try, i just can't cross this threshold.

2008-02-26T23:51:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE!

I PASSED MY DRIVING!!!!

=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2008-02-24T21:12:00.005+08:00

all my life

i've prayed for someone like you

and i thank God

that i've finally found you

i have never felt more afraid about anything else than the prospect of losing you.

2008-01-16T14:38:00.000+08:00

my modules for this semester

COM202 Information literacy and Interpretation
COM205 Speech and Argumentation
COM208 Fundamentals of Research
HP102 Fundamentals of Social Science Research
MP8085 History of Great Inventions

and i'm still undecidedly between

MB107 Fundamentals of Business Law
HH204 East Asia: Traditions and Transformations

should i take biz law or history of china? went for both lectures and i am quite interested in history of china but there's like quite a lot of china students in my very small class of probably 30 students in total. which means that i'm at a disadvantage bcos they are probably more familiar with china's history. how how.

okay whatever. i have 4 more days to decide. shall go sleep first before cheer at 6.

2008-01-16T12:50:00.000+08:00

logging on to blogspot feels weird. been such a long time.

my schedule this month is pretty packed. damn. i have like freaking many activities and most of it falls on a saturday which pretty much sucks.

17 Jan - CS FOC programmers meeting
18 Jan - Supper Hop
19 Jan - Hall Cheer Rehearsal and Beach Out Dry Run
23 Jan - Hall Cheer Olympiad
26 Jan - Beach Out
30 Jan - Hall CNY Dinner
2 Feb - Softball Semis!

and it's only da 2nd week of school i can't believe i already have freaking graded assignments to hand up next monday. wth man and i still need to plan stuff for Beach Out, have driving lessons every fridays, hall cheer practices almost everyday, NTU cheer, conduct softball trainings and da list goes on and on. blahblahblah. not that i really mind thou, other then da fact that my weekends are burnt cos everyone knows how important weekends are right?? plus i'm super proud of my softball girls for getting into da semifinals! =) top 4 out of 16 halls. not too bad right? haha.

wanted to write what modules i'm taking but gotta go for lunch with my 2/6 of my communication historians now!

laters

2007-11-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

work is the boringest thing ever. please, i beg them to sack me now. i don't want to earn their money anymore, not when time seem to crawl by and i have nothing to do but stand in feet-killing heels. today was pure torture and it's only the first day. even for da sake of money, i think another 2 more days will kill me. damn it. after work i was in such a cranky mood that i kept critising every single thing in my way. not such a good companion home i guess. oops.

where are you?????? *sigh

oliboooo and xinzhi are still having exams. good luck darlings! just er, less then a week left! =))

some people are just so irresponsible

2007-11-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

hello world i'm back.

halfway thru exams with 4 papers cleared only after 3 days. what a hectic schedule. just 2 more papers left! sad to say that just because my next paper is on tuesday, i have not touched my books for da whole of today bcos it's da i-still-have-3-more-days-to-study feeling! and i'm going to watch sardust at 11.45 later! all thanks to da hype about it in school i just cant wait for da exams to end before i watch it. gah. hopefully i spend da WHOLE of tmr studying =/ i'll probably so regret not studying today tomorrow. damn

so far, da papers i have cleared are

COM201 Foundations of Communication Studies
COM203 Media Professions and Practices
COM204 Basic Media Writing
HE191 Priciple of Economics

and what i have left are

HH101 What is History? Concepts, practices and critiques
MB103 Principles of Marketing

okays so i'm watching ghost whispers while waiting for alvin to come. another 1 hours 45 mins to our show! yay!

ps/ ghost whispers is damn scary

2007-09-30T01:55:00.000+08:00

although the incident is over now, whenever i read or think about stuff related to that issue, it never fails to send a chill down my spin thinking about how close you were to that side of the road. or how you could actually be classified as such for a significant period of time.

i have not been thinking much about da issue for a long period of time. recently, i choose to write up on that particular topic for my assignment and da research i did and what i found was really something close to my heart. it was for once, something in theory which i read about that i could link to in real life. out of da 10 points listed, i could point out 7 which i did witness. scary to think about isn't it? at least to me it is.

i would very much like to think it was because of me that got you out of that whole phrase. i know it partly was. now whenever something seems bad, i know that we'll get thru it because we managed to get thru that very depressing time. nothing else can be more daunting than that because we have each other. i love you baby. can't wait for you to come back.

2007-09-29T01:36:00.000+08:00

[kristlee*] says:
so long never see you already man
[kristlee*] says:
haha
shiny diamonds, like the eyes of the cat in the black and blue says:
haha very long meh!
[kristlee*] says:
not long meh
[kristlee*] says:
can you remember when was it even
shiny diamonds, like the eyes of the cat in the black and blue says:
tt day just steamboat what
shiny diamonds, like the eyes of the cat in the black and blue says:
walao
[kristlee*] says:
that day
[kristlee*] says:
it was damn long ago la anyhow
[kristlee*] says:
that was alvin's bithday
shiny diamonds, like the eyes of the cat in the black and blue says:
huh not two weeks ago meh
[kristlee*] says:
like 2 months already
[kristlee*] says:
NONSENSE LA
shiny diamonds, like the eyes of the cat in the black and blue says:
ARE U SERIOUS CANNOT BEEEEE

this just shows jack as no time sense AT ALL

2007-09-29T01:25:00.000+08:00

i'm doing everything and anything except my assignment. sigh. i think i'm screwed for my COM204. only 2 more days left and i still have not gotten someone to interview. and i have not even started on my first draft. supposed to do it now but here i am blogging instead.

recess week is da time where we are supposed to catch up with our work and generally study for tests right? that makes me feel damn screwed up because cheerleading camp took up 4 days of my recess week and that leaves me with practically no time to do any work whatsoever. damn. it's kinda stressing me out because i know loads of other people are studying except me. not that da camp wasn't fun, it just that it would have been more fun if it wasn't for da fact looming at da back of my mind that my assignments are piling up. shaun said last night that i don't seem like a student taking 6 modules. that casual remark made me kinda worried. people taking lesser modules than me are studying way harder that i will ever or can ever hope to mainly because i'm not that kinda person. what i must realise is that last minute studying just doesn't cut it for uni anymore. damn.

that aside, cheerleading camp was damn fun! no doubt we train like crazy - 9 to 1, break, 2-6, break, 7-10++++++ - but we got to learn alot of new stunts which were really really cool. we invited da taiwanese national cheerleaders over and they are really damn good. hahaha. only thing is that they teach everything in chinese (duh) which makes it damn difficult for me to understand what they are saying. gymnastics kinda kills me but being da flyer is da best feeling ever. haha. we (the freshies) put up our first ever, albeit armature, routine as a rounding off for da camp and it was really exciting and nerve-wreaking at da same time.

alvin the silly boy is far far away in taiwan. in da 5 days that he's been gone, he only called back twice =( i bet he's at some stupid out field again.

i should really start on my write up now. bye world!

2007-09-04T02:11:00.000+08:00

am blogging from hall now and i really hope da internet connection doesn't fail me. don't understand why only my connection is so retardly slow.

so i went for cheerleading tryout today. it was one of da scariest thing ever i swear. there were 6 or 7 people in front of me and i had to dance and cheer alone. it wasn't da stunts that were scary, having practised them about 3 or 4 times. it was da shouting out loud and dancing -ALONE- part that freaked me out most. and i swear i counted too retardly loud during da dance. anyway it's over and done with and whether i make it or not, at least i know i tried so i don't have to regret not overcoming my fears to go for tryout.

finally did finish my first ever assignment and i really can't tell if it's a good job or not. i know it can be better bcos my interviewees were so un-operative and "too busy" to answer my questions so that i ended up not really have a credible source. but all in all, i think it's not a bad job given da information i had.

still have so many readings left i feel so worried thinking about it.

2007-08-25T02:00:00.001+08:00

suddenly i feel like cutting bangs again. and dying my hair dark dark dark brown.

2007-08-24T21:58:00.000+08:00

hello long neglacted blog! not sure why but my desktop doesn't seem to work properly in hostel. which is really irritating me so. i really wish i wasn't such a computer idiot. but moving on...

3rd week of school and i feel as thou i have not even started school yet. seriously, i have not even done ANY readings or tutorials (but that's mainly bcos i don't have much work for tutorials anyways). i have never been da disciplined kind (other than exams period) and staying in hall sure doesn't help one bit. all day long i spend my time doing shit knows what and finally at 2am, when i get settled in my room and decide i want to get some work done, i am too tired to do anything. need to get my act together, like now.

went for my first ever hall cheerleading training yesterday and it was really really fun! it all seemed pretty scary at first but when i actually got down to doing it it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be. even thou i kept shouting. should really stop that. haha. it still seem pretty unbelievable that i can stand and balance on someone's shoulder.

alvin has guard duty tonight =( another half and hour or so before he gets to call me. and we're going sentosa tomorrow! been quite some time since we really went out and did something. bcos these days we have been staying in mostly. so i'm really looking forward to tomorrow! =)

2007-08-08T01:51:00.000+08:00

i'm back at home now after just 2 days of school. registered for electives today and there's only one word to describe it - horrendous. registration started at 9.30am but i had lecture from 8.30 to 10.30 so i thought i could just do it after lecture and that there would still be plenty of slots left after my lecture ended. i think i'm too naive. so many people brought laptops with them to class and as soon as it was 9.30, there was this mad rush from all over da LT like it was fastest fingers first; which it probably is anyway. so anyway i got to da com lab after lecture and much to my dismay, found out that Business Law has been snatched up and got pretty pissed about that. i knew i should have just skipped lecture for my add/drop. damn. so anyways, this is more or less what i will be doing this sem unless more vacancies pop out from da sky.

COM201 FOUNDATIONS OF COMMUNICATION STUDIES
COM203 MEDIA PROFESSIONS AND PRACTICES
COM204 BASIC MEDIA WRITING
HE191 PRINCIPLES OF ECONOMICS
HH101 WHAT IS HISTORY? CONCEPT, PRACTICES AND CRITIQUES

hall life is really fun! even if i spend my free afternoons sleeping. it's just da prospect of knowing that at any point of time, when you open your door, you can meet up with your friends any time you feel like it.

2007-07-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

wonder what's up with me. i still have not packed for hostel, much less have a rough idea of what i wanna bring there. have not looked for an instructor. also, have not even started on something very important which i am convinced will take very long to complete and given da very little free time i have, i doubt i will be able to finish it even if i start now. i hate myself for not getting down to it. i don't wanna take everything for granted, just bcos it has been a long time now. what's wrong with me.

2007-07-25T10:19:00.000+08:00

i am currently disgusted with da way NTU halls operate. i mean, after already sending in a registration by post for hall foc, why the hell do we need to make another trip down to ntu to register for hall foc all over again? doesn't make sense right. it just makes da registration by post pointless. stupid planning really, if you ask me. what i am really displeased at is da fact that we are billed 5-7 bucks per day if we collect our keys before 1 august. it is so blatantly obvious that we will definitely need to collect our keys early bcos hall foc starts on 30 july right? that itself is already 2 days before da "actual check in day" or whatever crap reason they give. furthermore, anyone who doesn't live in a shit hole will surely want to check in before foc starts to clean up da room seeing as how it has been vacant for 1-2 months. so my point is, surely there should be a grace period for moving in, and by grace period, i mean before their ridiculous grace period of 1 august. it's not da money that is a problem, but rather, da principle that it works on. all these just show me that NTU, or more accurately, NTU halls, are bloody money suckers who will try to milk as much money out of their students as possible. what ever happened to student welfare?

2007-07-24T02:54:00.000+08:00

today was my stay home day. all i did after i woke at 3 was read harry potter until 7, eat dinner, played my psp until 9, watched tv until 11 then back to my psp till about 2 and i have been online since. that is probably da reason why my head is spinning now. i'm trying to type with my eyes closed, so i don't really know why i'm so relutant to go to bed now.

2007-07-21T14:53:00.000+08:00

past 2 weeks have been busy busy, almost too busy for me bcos i was so exhausted from camp. school is starting in 2 weeks time or so and i cant decide if i should stay home more (bcos i'm moving away to hostel) or go out and enjoy my remaining care free days. unlike those who cant wait/are excited for school to start, i personally am dreading it. seriously, i can go on my whole life doing nothing but slack and play da whole day away. yes i know, no ambition whatsoever, but i would really prefer my life this way. damn, 9 months of slacking is finally coming to an end all too soon i say.

da long awaited harry potter book is finally here! however, i just realised i have totally forgotten what book 6 is all about so i have to re-read book 6 before i can start on book 7. damn.

my whole week in a nutshell,

saturday - watched da ndp rehearsals mainly to catch da pretty pretty fireworks + poker (as usual) overnight at alvin's place
sunday - lazed about at alvin's place until evening after which i went home and laze around even more
monday - caught harry potter 5 movie at cine with alvin and got cheated by some stupid DIY shop at parkway called 1st prize trading. alvin went to buy some erm, equipment from that shop and went we went to da other DIY store at parkway, we found out that they were selling da same items for only half da price or less! when we went back to complain all da stupid person could say was "you should have checked out da prices in other shops first" and refused to do a refund bcos "da boss was out for dinner". like wtf seriously. okay so point is, never buy from 1st prize trading.
tuesday - met my 2 darlings olivia and xinzhi to do what we do best and then for some sugar rush at paragon canele.
wednesday - met cinead jane kimme for my very very belated birthday celebration at roxy steamboat + esplanade + crew room at katong where i walked into da wall and got a bruise on my right eyebrow and also walked into da men's room and stayed in it for about 5mins bcos i didn't really know what i was doing. (read: high)
thursday - og outing at marina square kenny rogers and mos where we got free entrance, free drinks and found money on da floor.
friday - went chinatown with michymichylovesyalll, mas and olivaaaa in da hopes of finding a photo booth but ended up walking around ang siang road and sitting around at some cafe at chinatown with very very nice peach smoothie! hoey, being da very nice person he is came to pick us up where we met alvinchin at sampang bedok for dinner. went to alvin's house afte that bcos it was bookout day and we MUST meet on every bookout day. haha, just kidding.
as for today, i will be heading over to alvin's place soon and hopefully some more poker tonight. :))

it's a strange feeling, when you think you're meeting someone new but all da while, that person probably know more about you than you can ever imagine.

2007-07-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

i am SO not a stay home kinda person. spent da entire day at home for da first time since i stopped working and i was bored like crazy. woke up at 1, ate lunch, played my psp for god knows how long and when i looked at da clock it was only 3. i swear i could have screamed at da way time passes so slowly. so i tried lying around, played my psp some more, called some people and contempled going to white sands alone since i was craving for some salmon sashimi.

i'm having a headache from playing my psp da whole day. tmr me and olivia are going to holland v mainly bcos i cannot stand being at home for 2 consecutive days. and also bcos we're supposed to slack at every possible place. hahaha.

[kristlee*] says:
da boy is super cute
[kristlee*] says:
go seee
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
hahaha
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
okay!
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
you mean the kid?
[kristlee*] says:
but da mother look like cheenah lian
[kristlee*] says:
hahaha
[kristlee*] says:
yes da little boy
[kristlee*] says:
is super cute
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
omg
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
stop
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
are you really kristle kwok?
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
go away, you imposter
oliviaaa LONGTOPS says:
my lovey dont like kids
[kristlee*] says:
hahaha

i had a great birthday celebration yesterday. seriously, my birthday theme this year should be called back to nature. first i went to da beach with alvin, den it was pasir ris park with da girls where there were flies, frogs, ants, leaves falling everywhere and what nots and on saturday, i'm meaning outcast for our green dress code day bcos i am THE lil environmentalist. HAHAHA.

anyways, i must thank da girls for spending my birthday with me and for planning out everything. haha it was so silly, sitting outside bathroom door with ballons and cupcakes waiting for me to come out. silly but sweet. mich, you made da very very pretty invite! hmm.. maybe it's not all that difficult to do, but i won't know how to anyway. haha. mas, thanks for da heart shaped lollipop! and all that ballon blowing downstairs with olivia. =p lovey, thanks for always putting in da effort to plan and make my birthday special. for as long as i remember, you have always been da one planning celebrations and i really really appreciate it! hugs for all my girls! xinzhi, even thou you couldn't celebrate my birthday bcos of your camp, it's okay i know you still love me cos you called me at 00:00 exactly (at least on my hp. haha) and i love you too! squeeshy squeeshy.

to everyone else who remembered/wished, thanks! i made a point of replying everyone this year bcos i didn't reply anyone last year and i felt quite bad. haha. i'm actually quite glad people still bother to wish me happy birthday anymore bcos i'm not da kind who makes da extra effort to wish anyone. i wish i wasn't like that.

enough birthday talk for one day. bye all.

2007-07-02T02:39:00.000+08:00

celebrated my birthday with the boyfriend yesterday. went to east coast park to eat black pepper crab! (my fav. yummyyyyy.) after dinner we walked around da park and set up our own little cosy corner along da beach. which actually isn't that much of a cosy corner becos all we had were one too small spiderman mat. tried to find stars but da weather wasn't cooperationg and it was super cloudy. da clouds cleared about an hour later thou so did manage to see some stars. after being together for nearly 17 months, this is da first time we have been to da beach together. haha. weird or what?

da silly boy surprised me with a cake. i fell asleep at his house until like 3am and after we woke up he brought da cake up to da room. it was really funny cos usually when it's all dark and da cake comes in da happy birthday song will start. but in our case, he just walked in carrying da cake and i had to ask "where's my birthday song?" haha.

anyways da silly boy is in Brunei now and i'm gonna miss him so!

tmr is a very exciting day! da girls planned out my entire birthday party and i'm SOOOO looking forward to it! i love da rsvp invite! so pretty. as what olivia said, i'm so freaking excited! haha.

2007-06-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

last night was alvin's Social Night dinner and it was rather enjoyable. i was just telling alvin a few days before da dinner that da dinner would be kinda awkward for us girls bcos a) we hardly know anything about da army or their army friends and b) bcos we wouldn't know any other girl which means we have to stick to our boyfriends/date da entire night. turns out i was wrong bcos majority of da girls seemed to know each other and i guess that's bcos 3/4 of da people there were from RJC. so it's like a big get together/second prom for them. that led to me and olivia realising that da reason none of our friends/acquaintances have gone for such social nights is bcos OCS is mainly dominated by RJC people. but anyways, da program was rather entertaining and our table was quite fun. there was some lucky draw thingy and da first prize was da Nintendo Wii(!) which i would really love to have. but whats new, i have never won any lucky draw prize before. still, da night was pretty fun and at da end of it all, i could finally match name to face. haha.

da dinner ended about 11.30 after which we went to town to meet oliviamichelleabeljack to catch transformers. had 2 hours to waste before da movie started so we went to play photohunt for free bcos there were many extra credits in da machine. jack was so excited at being able to watch transformers BUT he fell asleep halfway. -.- so did abel. and alvin was all restless towards da end of da movie. only us girls enjoyed da movie even thou ironically, isn't transformers supposed to be more of a boy kinda movie? movie ended at about 4am and i was super tired bcos i was out all da way from 11am.

bumming life day 11 and i'm still loving it!

2007-06-24T15:26:00.000+08:00

this is a fucking bad day. 1 min after i arrived at dte, it started to rain. okay fine whatever, i decided to wait under da shelter. but da stupid fucktard lifeguards had to ask everyone to go away first. why da fuck you build shelters if people cannot use them. as if lightning can strike us under da low, plastic shelter. (there wasn't even lightning anyway) da trees around even taller la fucktard. i don't get da reasoning. and bcos he had to ask me to leave, i fell on da steps and landed on my bum. my slippers even had to put on some drama act by flying away -.- fuck know, it was damn embarrassing. just infront of one of da fucktard lifeguard too. okay so i fell maybe bcos i wasn't careful enough but if he didn't ask me to leave i wouldn't even have fallen in da first place. so it's all da fucktard fault.

thanks for ruining my day you stupid sky and fucktard lifeguards.

actually i don't get why i'm so angry but i just am.

2007-06-24T13:45:00.001+08:00

decided to go swimming again bcos alvin lee has just told me he can only meet me at like 4+ which is close to 3 hours later. gonna put my time to better use than waiting my youth away. i'm gonna cab down even thou da swimming pool is literally a walk across da park. effing pissed for wasting an hour doing shit.

2007-06-24T13:12:00.000+08:00

decided set up a new tagboard so if you're reading this tag so i know my blog isn't dead to da world. haha.

2007-06-24T12:40:00.001+08:00

gah i cant stand myself for being so lazy. postponed going for a swim once again bcos i consoled myself that i'll be going tmr with my boyfriend so it's okay not to go today. i detest myself for being so damn lazy. i love swimming, it's da walking/taking bus there part that makes me procrastinate.

dinner last night with da guys and olibia. been quite sometime since we met up and it was all good despite da fact that we couldn't decide where to go again and end up heading to vivo just for dinner. we only walked da basement. i know jack misses my boyfriend alot. hahaha. and gene still asks funny/weird questions that makes people awkward. act mysterious with your "contacts" only, i don't hate you la silly goon. abel wears sexy girl's jeans and paul thinks his house is boring cos there hasn't been any ghostly incidents. joseph has really funny expressions when telling stories. linden has red hot pants. and zephan is equated to 4D. not forgetting hoeann who was supposed to come too but decided he wants to be a hermit once again. i suspect he has made up with his girlfriend, the house.

more importantly, i won money at poker on friday night! HAHAHAHA. poker is super addictive. i love.

2007-06-22T01:03:00.000+08:00

bummer life day 2 has been good.

dragged myself out of bed at 11.45 bcos i had to go for da medical check up at ntu which is bloody far and my dad was being a meanie by not wanting to send me there (just kidding!). damn tired know, slept at 5.30 only.

my silly boyfriend had nights out today at like 7.30 and he went to jurong point. i was at jurong point until 5.45! wthhhh. never tell me earlier, i bet he doesn't wanna see me :( haha. so anyways headed down to marina square so yanxia can get her free manicure which ended up ruined bcos we went to da mango sales right after that and i guess da nails just got squashed up in all madness of pushing and grabbing. i wanna go back to da mango sales! there seemed to be like a million things to see but we didn't have da time (it was already 9, had to go back for dinner(!?)) or patience to search thru da mess or to queue for da fitting room.

okays, i'm a busy business women now so i have to go for my first board meeting now. bye all

2007-06-20T17:59:00.000+08:00

today marks da first day of life as a bummer (once again). realise i have quite a lot of stuff to do these few days so life won't be boring just yet. and even if it does get boring sonner or later, i'm just gonna suck it all up and remind myself it's da last of my holidays before school starts.

so first day of being a bummer i applied for hostal, sent out my admission thingy and looked thru all da camps i might wanna go. that itself took almost da whole afternoon cos we (me and yanxia) were laughing at da faces on da camp leaftlets. and tonight i'm going clubbing with us girls. omgzzzz. have not gone clubbing on a weekday for maybe a trillion years (fridays not counted cos fridays are weekends).

tmr i need to go to ntu for my medical checkup and friday i'll be going back to school to collect my A level cert (and da supposedly very nice faux leather file it comes with) and get my PDL from ubi! yay. i can hardly wait (to get my PDL that is) cos i can finally officially learn how to drive! but i need to get an instructor first. OH and we could be having our very first meeting on friday. HAHAHA.

that just leaves saturday unplanned before my boyfriend comes out on sunday to monday! hmmm. what should i do on saturday? (other than playing poker at night. hee) btw, i should stop losing money at poker (2 consecutive weekends! gah) all da more so bcos i'm jobless now not like all da other NS boys who still get monthly allowance from SAF and can afford to lose but don't seem to lose.

i love bumming life! muahahahaha.

2007-06-15T21:47:00.000+08:00

shall blog today since i'm uber bored at home on a friday night. it's already 9.50 and i'm still waiting for my boyfriend to book out. wthhhh. everyone's boyfriend is out already except mine.

anyway i realised i'm quite lucky cos my boyfriend doesn't play dota so i don't get da "ehhhhh. i call you back in awhile, i playing dota now" shit. (which i just got from hoeann, but that's okay cos he isn't my boyfriend. HAHA) anyway talking about games, i'm really starting to miss my (cousin's) ps2 now cos it's really really boring at night after work.

okay hoeann just called me and i'm off to meet them for poker! better to play and wait than waiting at home aimlessly.

BYE

2007-05-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

i'm blogging this in my e-mail at work since i have no access to blogspot. which means this entry will only be up at about 11pm tonight?

my job is making me fat. other than da fact that it's an office job so that means usually very little movement other than that of da finger, da occasional shift of my butt and da toilet trips (which are quite frequent i'm afraid), my department caters food for participants attending courses and usually there will be leftovers. and being da very greedy person that i am, i end up pigging out with da rest of my colleagues. so nowadays i eat breakfast (sometimes), brunch, lunch, tea break and dinner. damn, luckily i'll be stopping my job in about 2-3 weeks time and hopefully i will not become so fat that it is virtually impossible to salvage.

recently i have taken to blog stalking. blame it on da fact that it's really one of da only form of entertainment i have at work. really intriguing how much stuff you can you can find out online. haha. for no reason whatsoever, i have been stalking mostly MJC people. well, ex-MJC people to be exact. not that i like anyone from MJC. nope, actually i don't like anyone from MJC with da exception of one such person of cos. hahaha.

so i have been going swimming (sort of) for 2 consecutive weekends and i'll be going tmr again! did i mention that swimming is my favorite sport? haha followed closely by sailing. oh and while i'm on da subject of sailing, i dreamt about it last night. damn, i miss lazing around in my boat during light winds, battling da waves and wind during times of storm, screaming our heads off at each other, racing to da yellow bacon and back, doing 324925240 triangles and sausages... i even miss those times when we had to pull our water-filled boats up shore using those rusted trolleys that never fail to cut me every time. unless you have sailed before, you'll never understand da feeling of controlling your own boat in da big blue sea. sometimes i get scared when i stray too far from da rest and everything is so damn quiet and there seem to be shadows lurking underneath. even weird poles sticking out of da sea and unidentifiable objects floating around cause my over-imaginative mind to over work. i'm such a scaredy cat i know.

have a rather full weekend planned. am going for my grandfather's birthday celebration dinner after work today. saturday morning will be spent swimming, afternoon going to katong to look for something, night probably mahjong or poker. sunday is my most anticipated day! becos alvin has just informed me last night that although he can't book out this weekend, i can go in and visit him! YAY. i have not seen him for 20 days alright, it's about time someone took pity on us and let us meet. haha. wednesday will be girl's night out clubbing, although whether da guys will be joining us has not been confirmed yet. and if they do happen to join us, girl's night out will fail.

i still have not watched spiderman 3. not that i'm really into da whole spiderman movie thing. actually i don't even get what with da whole mega countdown thing for spiderman. was it really such an anticipating show that everyone was dying to watch? if you ask me, i think pirates of da carribean is much better, although i can't really judge seeing as how i have not watched either movies yet. okay long enough entry.

i shall go back to blog stalking. hahaha.

2007-05-18T22:33:00.000+08:00

why is the silly poot poot not calling me yet even thou it's like 10.33 already! just another 8 days before i finally get to see him after 3 bloody long weeks. but next week will fly by rather fast i think. am going shopping with my darlings tmr! yay. thanks girls for accompanying me during this horrendous weekend (bcos alvin is not coming out). i love you girls! =) will be fun trying to complete everything on our list of never ending things to do. haha. and i'm not working on wednesday!!!!!! took leave to go for nus high tea thingy (which isn't exactly very fun). but at least i'm not gonna be in da office. plus i get to sleep late! so with a break in da middle of da week, work will seem soooo much shorter.

and everyone should come online NOW. i'm deprived of photos. like, junren's birthday party photos, our bedok 85 dinner photos, mos with kimmejanecinead, butterfac with cineadkimme, er... i cannot remember what else lahhh. alvin should just call me now.

edit-
are you really that happy for someone else or just being your usual hypocritical self? on a different note, somehow seeing things related to that particular subject still stabs me in da heart.

2007-05-13T11:40:00.000+08:00

OOPS. was supposed to go alvinchin's house yesterday for poker night but i fell asleep waiting for their call. was damn tired even thou i napped for 3hours in da afternoon. i wanted to rest for awhile before they called me out but er, they called at 12.15am and i was already sleeping by 11.30 i think. oops, hope there were enough people.

going swimming and tanning with yanxia soon! in 45mins time. yay! i have not packed my stuff yet thou.

2 weeks confinement is too long i say. it sucks.

weird, but for some reason i just feel like everything's wrong. i hope it's just my period making me think crazy thoughts.

2007-05-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

i wanna go on a holiday again. probably to australia, bintan, bali or phuket. i know, australia seems very out of place among da 4 destinations but it sounds fun too, in a different way. anyway was searching for holiday destinations during work just now and i got really excited at da prospect of sailing in bintan! damn it i never have time to sail anymore. every saturday, i'm supposed to go sailing with my tp team before they actually close down but somehow or another i always end up going out late on friday night and end up too freaking tired to wake up da next morning. i'm getting fairer and fairer so much so that when i was taking out my contacts just now i looked at myself in da mirror and got a shock. i look like snow. i swear. okays, so i was fair almost my whole life but people change alright. haha

dinner with martin yesterday was impromptu. he called me while i was on my way home from work and anyway i wanted to go buy some stuff in town. had dinner at ichiban sushi which i treated (cos he only had 3bucks but STILL wanted to eat sushi). it's da first time i've ever paid for a guy i think. but it's okay cos i've know him for da 7th year now and it's only da first thing i have ever bought for him (other than birthday presents and they do not count). haha so all's good.

wednesday night is our ladies night. da usual meeting up for dinner with olivia and xinzhi and today we went to bedok 85 for dinner! lets go to popeye's next week! hahaha. oh talking about ladies night, we have to meet up soon michelle! (erm, if you actually read my blog anymore) i can't believe you're going away so soon. no time to waste.

and lastly i shall be irritating and write a short entry about uni admission. irritating cos everyone's talking about it and it's kinda a sensitive topic right? so. my grades of AABB3, a good, but apparently not good enough grade for this year's intake earned me a place for my first choice in ntu communication studies and my second choice in nus real estate and smu economics. yea i know, all da choices seem really different. nus law didn't want me cos i missed by 1 GP grade. apparently da minimum grade they will actually consider for their interview is AABA2. and even thought i went for smu law interview, i really wasn't expecting to get in cos there was just too little vacancy. so i guess it's bye bye law and hello communication studies. at least for now. so i'm gonna accept their offer really soon cos i feel kinda bad about taking up another person's vacancy.

da copycat has not blogged yet. how disappointing.

2007-05-06T21:05:00.000+08:00

the boyfriend's going away for field camp tomorrow for 4/5 days. i don't want! that's means not having anything to look forward to after a long and tiring day at work. come back soon! and please please please take care. my greatest fear is that he'll get lost in da forest. i don't know why, but i think that's really scary.

friday night was spent club hopping with cineadjanekimme. went to butterfac first cos we were on da VIP list but too bad we went too late to get a reserved table. so cabbed down to mos instead where we met up with jane brother and 3 cousins. took quite a while and some luck before we could put our bag at da baggage counter cos it was bloody full. got disturbed by some smelly old (okay, not so old) vomit smelling uncle and then cabbed down to boat quay raining bar to chill. lousy place cos da music died halfway and we wanted to go rave since it's open 24hours but we ended up playing pool till 5.30am and by then we were too tired to go anywhere else other than home.

saturday night was poker night as usual. however, having not played for 2 weeks made us really rusty. plus they were being asses by not wanting to play blinds. anyway, me and alvin ended up losing quite a significant amount last night. gah.

can't believe that i have actually been working at sgh for 3weeks already. that's bloody long for a job so far. haha

2007-05-03T20:46:00.000+08:00

so i actually blogged yesterday during work and was all ready to post my entry when i accidentally pressed the function (thanks to da boyfriend who told me what fn really stands for) key and my whole entry just disapeared. and after that i was too lazy to blog again.

finally got my cheque from 2 and a half weeks ago. had to go to da office like 3 times and send a million and one sms and calls before i got it. gah.

so yesterday i was blogging about da uni application and was evil-y mocking someone but alas, it wasn't meant to be. still waiting for my final letter from smu before i make any decisions. they sure are taking a long time.

i have been using microsoft access for da past 2 days. my supervisor gave me a crash course which left me pretty clueless. it took me 30mins just to find ONE table list and after that there was still tons of clicking and dragging and what nots to do. i have been typing for 2 days and my stack of couments is still not done! omg i'm so slow. i just can't deal with technology.

so i have been thinking rather evil thoughts about someone lately and what scares me is that i think i'm overly paranoid i'm actually becoming obsessive.

2007-04-24T00:49:00.000+08:00

finally get da urge to blog again after 6723496 years, thou i really wonder who will even get to read this. i think da reason why da urge to blog is so intense nowadays is cos i have been e-mailing alot lately ( it's my new found love! and something i look forward to almost everyday <3 ) to my baby and probably cos of da boring office job. BUT my office has to block blogspot and i was so desperate to blog that i was even considering setting up a livejournal account ( why didn't they block livejournal??) so that i can blog. but i didn't know how to use livejournal! haha.

despite all that bitching and negative comments that i have been churning out since i knew about it, i'm actually quite happy for him now. seeing him so happy for once makes me feel that maybe it isn't all that bad a thing. i'm not saying that i don't mean any of da bad stuff i said anymore or that i believe it will work out, but maybe, just maybe, everything will turn out great for him. and if it doesn't, it'll just be another life experience and he'll learn to grow up to make better decisions, along with the fond memories that he may have forged. i'm not at all worried that he (or anyone else for that matter, except probably one or two of you) will come across this entry and realise i'm talking about him. i just wish him all da best, he'll need it.

damn NUS. damn that stupid newspaper article. i think a lot of people will understand this feeling (especially now), when you realise you really really want something but realise that there's just nothing you can do to get it. maybe some people will be comdeming me for saying such stuff cos i got most of what i wanted. but that is what i really want most of all and sometimes it just sucks when i have to settle for something else, especially since i knew i wanted it since i was 13. i have been thinking alot lately and i'm afraid that one day i'll come to regret da decisions i make today. i don't want to look back in life and wonder what could have been by giving up that path. but i contradict myself; right now, at this moment in my life, i am already starting to wonder what i am missing out on. i doubt i've ever been in a situation like this in my entire life, but right now, i know i truely am on a crossroad. actually, that's wrong, cos i've already passed that crossroad and made my choice. whatever, i shall stop talking about this topic. i don't make sense.

seeing mart&crhis on sunday was great. it made me realise how much i missed them, even thou i must admit i didn't think i did. all da nonsense we use to share was tucked away in a corner of my mind due to da fact that i was too occupied with my everydya life. dinner on thursday hopefully, to relive da last of our nonsensical moments before chris flies off. last lava outing.

what a sappy post, wth.

i'm meeting my boyfriend tomorrow! i'm meeting my boyfriend tomorrow! i'm meeting my boyfriend tomorrow! i'm meeting my boyfriend tomorrow! i'm meeting my boyfriend tomorrow! heehee. he's coming to meet me during my lunch break cos he has a 6 hour break for a 15mins (or more) interview. haha. i'm so happy i'm actually looking forward to work tmr.

2007-03-23T13:14:00.000+08:00

i'm back and USA was super fun and yadayada....

anyways moving on, da main reason i'm here blogging is cos i got stood up today and i'm angry about it. angry angry angry. that cinead chiam has been MIA since like 10 this morning and we were supposed to go dye our hair today. argh actually i'm just angry cos my hair colour's pissing me off more than anything. she's gonna die once i get hold of her!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm gonna watch phantom of the opera later! =) how exciting.

2007-02-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

some people can be so unappreciative, it's gross. but i doubt they even realise it. yea when you need something you can msg me about it and all. and after you don't need it anymore or decide that you don't want it, it's sickening that you don't even bother to reply. so much for being helpful, the two of you.

anyways. it's kinda weird but i sorta enjoy going out alone nowadays. creepy huh?

just another 1 and a half week of work before i leave for da US for 3 weeks. =) kinda exciting thou i don't really know what my parents are planing to do cos mostly i'm too lazy to listen to their itineary. still, i wonder what it'll feel like going back after not having been there for years. i wonder if i'll remember my childhood days. haha. kinda doubt so thou.

met up with my sistaz on monday after work. like finally. have been asking them out but we're all mostly busy with work/school. jackdaniels, pool, singing, Home KTV, drinking games, uncle meng, susage&bacon, driving home.

What you gonna do when it all comes out
When I see you & what you're all about

i know you girls have been worried and i'm very sorry for not talking about anything. maybe it's just not da right time yet. thanks for everything darlings. i love you girls. don't worry about me kays? i'm fine, mostly.

2007-02-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

i can't believe i'm working tomorrow, on a saturday toooooo. it's not that i mind it's my off day. it's just that i'm super tired and i think i just need sleep sleep and more sleep. actually i don't know why my work is making me so tired since i don't really do much physical stuff except maybe open da flab of da pohotcopier multiple times a day, stamping on papers non-stop and maybe walking around quite often. doesn't sound very tiring right??? then why da hell do i sleep at like 10+ almost everyday.

quoting _____, life has never sucked this bad. oh well, it probably did, i just didn't realise it before. i don't know what to do. it feels like i'm putting everything on hold.

if you call me today
i'll say that i'm fine
but i bet you can't tell
from the sound of my voice it's just a lie

2007-01-29T23:13:00.000+08:00

before this, i never thought that i ever had a need to be jealous. but well, da world isn't round and not everything will turn out as perfect as you want them to. but why does it have to be me that gets this kinda crap. this must be some sort of retribution for always bitching about others. at least i learnt how to look closer at da situation around me before judging others.

denial denial denial. it just doesn't work, as much as i tried. it comes back to you everytime you let yourself relax and hit you square between your eyes. you just can't run away from it can you? truth.

FUCK.

and yes, i give up, even if i try to tell myself otherwise.